You know, like when there are respectable people coming over and you have to at least pretend that you weren’t just planning on eating a bowl of cereal for dinner. (Which I never ever do…)
Broccoli is easily one of the most impressive foods at emergency dinner. You can just pull it casually out of your fridge and say ‘why, this head of broccoli? Yes, I was planning on using it for snacks! Because I’m healthy! But I suppose I can chop it up and make this delicious healthy salad full of vitamin A!’ And your guests will say, ‘wow, that is impressive, not only does she keep broccoli in her fridge, but she cares so much about me she’s going to sacrifice it for my health too! Aw, I feel so loved!’
You can clearly see why being prepared for emergencies is important.
The problem is that I loathe broccoli. Yes, yes, I know it’s good for me. I know that it’s amazing, especially when it slathered with cheese (what isn’t, I ask you?). I’ve tried it raw, cooked, steamed, broiled… Still no.
It’s the texture, you see. The tiny little pieces at the top just plain feel weird on my tongue and that’s it. That’s the end of it. It’s not the taste, it’s that dang texture. Blegh.
So when I say to you that this is the only broccoli salad both easy and delicious enough for me to eat, you better believe it’s amazing. They’re even raw, the little pieces in all their weird, natural glory (even typing that gave me some goosebumps.)
The key is to start with the greenest, most vibrant broccoli you can find. Chop it up into bite-sized pieces (because there is nothing attractive about gnawing at a full head of broccoli).
Now the onion – red, of course, because the more colours the better in a salad! (Gratuitous onion shot because it was too darn pretty to leave out of this post.)
In a bowl, mix some mayonnaise (I use my 2-Minute Mayonnaise Recipe or Vegannaise, which should be available at your local grocery store, Canadians. Americans, Hellman’s Original is nightshade free), some vinegar and a smidgen of sugar. This is going to be your dressing, so if you want to add any fun herbs or spices, now’s the time! Sometimes I’ll add my Homemade Curry Powder because that goes WITH EVERYTHING.
Lastly, bacon. Because even broccoli has to bow before the might of bacon. Make sure that your bacon is really crispy. I mean, if you like soggy bacon in your salad, that’s your business, but just know that you’re wrong and I’m never coming to your house for emergency salad.
Here’s a broccoli salad even I can love!
If you ever come and visit me and end up with this in front of you, now you know why! Quick, easy, and I was originally planning on eating Cheerios for dinner.
- 2-3 bunches broccoli
- 1/2 cup craisins
- 1 red onion , chopped
- 4 strips of bacon , cooked and chopped until crispy
- 1/2 cup nuts or sunflower seeds
- OPTIONAL: shredded white mozzarella cheese
- 3/4 cup mayonnaise (homemade recipe here: http://halifaxbloggers.ca/isaynomato/2015/10/05/2-minute-mayonnaise/)
- 2 tbsp vinegar
- 2 tbsp sugar
Chop broccoli into small, bite-sized pieces.
In a pan on the stove, fry your bacon until it is nice and crispy and chop into small pieces.
In a large bowl, add the broccoli, craisins, nuts, bacon and chopped onion and toss.
In a small bowl, mix mayonnaise, vinegar and sugar until completely together and the consistency of a runny cream dressing.
Dump dressing into the larger bowl and toss everything all together.